What story is in your heart today?
Whatever it is, speak it, act it out, share it, and live it. Not only live it, but embrace that story good or bad, chosen or not, because whatever kind of tale it is, it's yours.
I started writing this post about learning to let go of control, but I read so much of that on a daily basis that I don't really want to write about it.
Right now I want to just focus on you and your story. What is it today? A hard or light one? A cozy or uncomfortable one? One that makes you want to scream in rage or jump from excitement?
I hope yours are leaning towards the positive sides this lovely Tuesday, but Me? I'm grumpy and uncomfortable. I want to be left alone without being alone. It's a beautiful, cool day that normally I would take advantage of, but right now I just want to go home and crawl into bed.
The past few weeks I've been unconsciously and consciously working on this acknowledgement of my feelings. At work, my shorts were so uncomfortable I questioned why pants were even a requirement for office work! After resorting to just standing at the art gallery desk, my girlfriend talked me into switching pants with her, and while walking to the bathroom, I muttered, "I'm grumpy." She simply said, "I could tell." Well, I'm definitely not one to mask emotions! Sometimes this gets me into trouble, but in my effort to just accept the situation, I eased possible tension between Katelin and I and un-burdened myself. Just declaring what you feel makes it easier to breathe.
Following this, she wanted to hold my hand, probably to make me feel better, but I just needed my space, so I let her know. I could tell that it hurt her, but she respected my feelings and needs and, in return, I felt lightened and less on-edge. Focusing on me and my story brought me back into focus.
Whatever is in your heart, whether it's painful or beautiful, there's no need to be ashamed. Trying to cover it won't make it go away, and accepting it definitely won't make it worse. I'm willing to bet that when you finally realize that you're just sick of those dang shorts that are going up your crotch and change into some more livable sweatpants, you'll feel a lot better. Acknowledging that you're frustrated or anxious works the same way.
Sometimes I just cant manage my regular upbeat, energetic self and have trouble muzzling my snaps. In these cases I just have to shake off the guilt and frustration at these emotions and set-up my day accordingly: do I need more alone time? Do I need a day in bed? Do I need to do yoga? What do I need today?
That is the question to reflect on every morning, afternoon, and night.
What story is in my heart and what do I need today?