When you mess up for the third, fourth, or tenth time—on an exam, in your personal endeavors, in your faith, in your relationship, at your craft—you are still wonderful.
If you think you have lost everything about yourself, screwed up everything that you had going, and are now in the abyss of nothing and nowhere—you are absolutely still wonderful.
I’ve found that it’s so easy for the nasty voice in my head to speak louder than the sweet, loving voice. The sweet voice whispers constantly, but without encouragement she stays quiet and off to the side, while her nasty counter-part screams and throws winning punches. The nasty voice is the one I tend to give in to, nodding and replying, “You’re right.” She gets louder.
The nasty voice finds new, sharper ways of wording what I’ve started believing about myself. Some days she may comment on my body, some days on what a horrible person I am, or how I suck at being a Christian.
The sweet voice wavers in the background pleading me to hear her, too: “You’re still wonderful.” But this is too easily ignored or missed in the static.
The last few years I have really tried to nurture the sweet voice more than the nasty one, but it’s hard. Some weeks are better than others, but I have to remember that even when I fall back into nurturing the nasty thoughts, I am just as wonderful as yesterday or last year.
We are taught to think of others as wonderful and find something admirable in them. We should see the great things in our friends, family and peers, and nurture that in them, but what about ourselves?
Encouragement and love for others is so important, but don’t forget about you. You’re important, and you deserve your encouragement and love. Even when you’re a downright monster. (I’ve had a few of those times this week)
Those are the times when your love is especially needed. That’s when you need the reminder of you are wonderful the most.
Though I may act like a monster, I am not a monster. I am wonderful.