The Fear of Trying

Sometimes I worry that I'm not meant to do this... write or reach out to people like you about loving yourself. 

I feel as though I have so much in my heart and soul that I want to type up and post to this space, this little link that only reaches a few, but I can't always pull all these feelings and ideas apart to actually write. Only a few come through my fingers and connect with the letters of my keyboard, and a lot of times I don't think they're enough. 

A lot of times I wonder if the words really matter or if I'm throwing them into the air just to fall back to my feet. Sometimes I feel like these pages I type aren't worthy to post or too much like other blogs I read. I worry that I'm a rip-off on what other writers are writing so much better. 

So often I feel as if my story isn't big enough to share. What do I even have to share? Everyone I read has such big stories and lessons that they sum up perfectly in posts that make my heart stop. Why do I think I can do that? 

These thoughts get to me so easily. Easily enough that I put aside writing any posts, or so that my stomach drops a little when I have a small idea, but I'm unsure of (1) how to put into words and (2) if it's worth spending time on. What if someone else has written it, and not only that, but written it so much better than I will? 

This thought process isn't just found in blogging, writing, or connecting; it's found in every niche of the internet, our lives, and the world.

It's the fear that we're not good enough, and this is the fear that is capable of destroying every superhero out there. I'm aware of what it can do and what it is when it occupies my mind, but I fall for it. 

Maybe I don't have a big, heart-breaking story to share and connect with you through, but I am another person that is going through what you have gone through. Maybe not everything you have, but if you're still reading this, there must be something that we share. I've had that feeling many, many times as I go through blogs, and it's the most amazing feeling the first time it happens. 

The realization that you're not alone. 

That's why I keep doing this.

Though I may only reach you or a few others... though I doubt my words and stories... I keep going, because the more of us that come forward--whether we have a big or small story--and connect, encourage, and lift-up one another, the less each of us have to feel alone. 

Remember that: fear wants to isolate you and keep you where you are instead of watch you rise, fly, and soar, but that fear has no power unless you use your own in its favor. 

I am here, host to the same fear(s) and still trying to fly. I hope you are too.