When you mess up for
the third, fourth, or tenth time—on an exam, in your personal endeavors, in
your faith, in your relationship, at your craft—you are still wonderful.
If you think you have
lost everything about yourself, screwed up everything that you had going, and
are now in the abyss of nothing and nowhere—you are absolutely still wonderful.
I’ve found that it’s so
easy for the nasty voice in my head to speak louder than the sweet, loving
voice. The sweet voice whispers constantly, but without encouragement she stays
quiet and off to the side, while her nasty counter-part screams and throws
winning punches. The nasty voice is the one I tend to give in to, nodding and
replying, “You’re right.” She gets louder.
The nasty voice finds
new, sharper ways of wording what I’ve started believing about myself. Some days
she may comment on my body, some days on what a horrible person I am, or how I
suck at being a Christian.
The sweet voice wavers
in the background pleading me to hear her, too: “You’re still wonderful.” But
this is too easily ignored or missed in the static.
The last few years I
have really tried to nurture the sweet voice more than the nasty one, but it’s
hard. Some weeks are better than others, but I have to remember that even when
I fall back into nurturing the nasty thoughts, I am just as wonderful as
yesterday or last year.
We are taught to think
of others as wonderful and find something admirable in them. We should see the
great things in our friends, family and peers, and nurture that in them, but
what about ourselves?
Encouragement and love
for others is so important, but don’t forget about you. You’re important, and you deserve your encouragement and love. Even
when you’re a downright monster. (I’ve had a few of those times this week)
Those are the times when
your love is especially needed. That’s when you need the reminder of you are wonderful the most.
Though I may act like a
monster, I am not a monster. I am wonderful.
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