So Hard

Today has been hard. So hard. 

Katelin and I have been planning for a good friend of mine to come up for two weeks, and she arrives Wednesday the 28th. We found out my aunt and cousin are arriving this weekend last week. Today we found out four other family members are also coming up. 

If you know someone with anxiety, you know how hard these sudden plans become. 

If you know someone with anxiety, you know how hard it is not being able to make it better.

I tried to switch the dates my good friend comes, but her train ticket is bought. 

I am angry, because I can't control this situation.
I am angry, because I can't fix anxiety. 
I am angry, because no matter what I do I can't make everyone happy. 

For now I am trying to just focus on my friend coming up, because that is who we have planned for, but it's hard feeling like I may hurt feelings in the process. 

I can't make everyone happy, and so I'm putting first who deserves to be first at this time. It's just so hard. 

Today is one of frustration, overwhelm, and defeat. 
Some days are like this, and it's so hard.