Hung up at my campus.
Tidbits
8/7/13
8/5/13
Creating Confidence Series: Look in the Mirror
Everyone goes through the struggle to find and love ourselves and to find and create confidence.
Sometimes we fake it, sometimes we give up on having any confidence altogether. It may take years and years to discover and build it or not as much time as we expect.
Through it, each individual finds techniques of loving his/herself. We fail at some, succeed at others, and learn from other individuals who are going (and have gone) through the same fight. Because it is a fight, a fight with oneself, with one's culture, and with one's society.
My Creating Confidence series looks to introduce ways that have worked for me in building self-esteem and self-love. My path to confidence (that I still traverse every day) started with finding a blog and then another and another that showed ways in which each woman struggled, succeeded, and failed in loving themselves. I'm here to, hopefully, do the same for you.
There's many, many facets of loving yourself inside and out, but today I'm going to focus on the love for your body, because this was the hardest fight for me to conquer, and I still go to war with myself on a daily basis for it.
This trick is simple and, yet, may be a grand downfall for some. Tread carefully and softly, because this can bring you down as easily as it can bring you up.
Look in the mirror.
Ever since I was old enough to realize being naked was something dirty I hated seeing myself naked. Since I wear glasses, I'd take them off before showering and quickly turn away from the mirror as if my body was diseased and malformed. I would keep my head turned down, away from the reflection, as I dressed myself, and then I'd replace my glasses onto my face.
It may seem like a harmless, awkward, phase -- a tween girl hitting puberty and feeling uncomfortable about bodily changes. The thing is it created a negative mindset over not just my own body but bodies in general.
It built a habitual thought process that it's shameful to see a body in it's natural form. It created a negative foundation of looking at my body and feeling positive towards it.
Nothing made me more uncomfortable than seeing myself naked in a mirror. If I happened to catch a glimpse, I'd find myself unbearably embarrassed and put-off before moving out of view. The eugh-y feelings that festered in my stomach fostered for later (and bigger) body-image issues. My body wasn't worth seeing that way.
My body wasn't good enough to see that way.
Maybe if I was thinner or more in shape, I wouldn't mind looking at myself in the mirror.
Maybe if I suck in my stomach, it won't be so horrifying.
Maybe...
A load of BS.
BS that we learn from a very young age and carry with us through years and years of struggle.
Unfortunately, it's rare that we're taught it's BS. Most of the time we have to learn it ourselves, if we actually learn it.
Know this: if you feel that way, it's all crap.
So, I dare you to really look in the mirror.
When I learned all the crap that had been taught to me is just that, crap, I decided it was time to face my reflection.
Yes, this does sound much more epic and influential than it really was. I was mortified and awkward for the first, like, twenty times. I felt perverted for looking at myself. I saw everything that needed fixing.
Before showers I'd leave my glasses on as I stripped off my clothes and casually look at myself for a few seconds, then jump behind the curtain to get away. I felt like I was facing off with myself.
The key part of doing this is being aware of your thoughts. Each and every thought that passes through as you stand in front of yourself. You are not allowed to say bad things about yourself, even if the words aren't said aloud. If negative thoughts appear, CHANGE THEM.
This process works to form new, better, and healthy habits. No more habitual tearing yourself down; no more feeling ugly, gross, unworthy when you see your body. We only gain this from changing how we feel internally, and thoughts are so influential.
Pick out the beautiful parts to you and admire them.
Over time I became used to the contours of my body: where I stuck out, where I smoothed out, what I was self-conscious of, and what I absolutely loved. I focused hard on altering my thought patterns, and with that, the negative emotions inside of me were slowly cleansed. They became few and far between, but if I'm not careful, they try to find there way back inside.
It's a daily fight, and most of the media, government, and your well-trained thoughts are not on your side.
I would say that this is the most fundamental technique I use(d) to embrace and love my body as it was and as it is. What's fantastic, is that I think I look better naked than clothed now! And let me tell you, that feeling is wondrous and freeing.
8/3/13
Weekly Reads 8.3.13
Changing up my weekly inspiration to Weekly Reads where I'll share my favorite blog pieces of the week! I read some pretty great and wise women, so I encourage you to take a peek at each.
For writers (especially bloggers) on body-love:
I'm Not a Fat Enabler is perfectly sassy and spunky.
Yet again, Mara Glatzel manages to make my inner demons
wise teachers with Jealousy is my Greatest Teacher
over at the DailyGood. Great if you need a little encouragement
on making your dreams reality.
I absolutely love this one. A must read if you, like me,
need your weekends spent in bed.
An awesome blogger I just discovered and am obsessed with,
The Nearsighted Owl, writes on one of my favorite topics,
SHORT HAIR, knocking off another reason you should
just chop it off!!
I also encourage you to check out her e-course and blog series
now going on. It's awesome, I love it, so click below!
8/2/13
Morning Coffee and My Realization
I kid you not, I read at least three or four pieces in a one-two day span that went over the realization that what really mattered was the walk to the coffee shop or the coffee shop atmosphere, not the coffee. This then led to making green smoothies or tea and taking them to the cherished coffee shop, saving money along the way!
Let me clarify right away that these pieces were all fantastic (which is why I wanted to join them) and not anywhere did the author(s) ask their readers to try it themselves. Okay, actually, one piece was by a doctor, and he did encourage readers to try a coffee fast, but that's expected.
These men and women found what worked for them, and I thought that to be the bohemian blogger that I dream(ed) to be, I must forget coffee and (since I had expertly failed my smoothie phase) become a lady of tea.
Oh man.
Hint: it was an epic fail.
My coffee fast, which I remember proudly alerting my girlfriend to on a car-ride home, lasted approximately four days.
My "lady of tea" image died slowly with my first and last four painful drinks of green tea. Can I say: EUGH!? I know tea is a plant and all, but it literally tastes like dirt and leaves put into boiling water.
That ain't something I want to douse my taste buds in.
Enter my realization, that I am now blogging to you about: I do not drink coffee for the stroll to the local coffee shop (I rarely drink at coffee shops except Starbucks) or for the atmosphere. I just really like coffee! Also: tea is my very last drink of choice.
Granted, I do love the moments that come with drinking coffee: sitting in bed in the early morning light across from my girlfriend, and sipping from my blue travel mug as we share happy morning chats in the car ride to work.
I like these moments more than the coffee itself, but there's something about that bitter (unless I've went a little creamer crazy) drink that adds to the mood.
There are still weeks where I'll move away from coffee just because I can feel my body reacting negatively, but I always come back when my body says it's ready again.
At this point, you may be like: okay, Eve, so you like coffee and hate tea, glad you took so long to make that clear...
Yes, I did say that, and now you know more about me! But I'm also saying: what may work for a few or hundreds of people (all whom may surround you), might not work for you. And that's what's important. It may, in fact, be horrible for you! Just because someone you admire rants and raves about the benefits of green tea and consequences of coffee does not mean your body or mind will agree, and this can apply to everything.
So, I'm going to drink my coffee and squinch my nose when my girlfriend drinks tea, but hey, if that doesn't work for you, find what does.
Updates
Uppin' my game here a little and made an account for BlogLovin'. I feel like I'm making this website harder than it really is, especially since I'm in the generation of the tech savvy! My first instinct when having frustration over claiming my blog was to just sigh, close out of the website, and never return, BUT ALAS, I persevere.
So, follow me!
Follow my blog with Bloglovin
One complaint so far: I don't do the whole Facebook thing, so I can't upload a picture? Ugh.
ALSO: I have changed my blog name. 19 and (Almost) Confident was great, but didn't sit 100% right with me. This cozy corner is now, Cozy Confidence! It fits my personality quite well, and still holds well with what I want to do here.
So, follow me!
Follow my blog with Bloglovin
One complaint so far: I don't do the whole Facebook thing, so I can't upload a picture? Ugh.
ALSO: I have changed my blog name. 19 and (Almost) Confident was great, but didn't sit 100% right with me. This cozy corner is now, Cozy Confidence! It fits my personality quite well, and still holds well with what I want to do here.
7/31/13
7/30/13
My Thing
Sometimes when I read my favorite blogs (see sidebar for who I read!) I feel like giving up on this. The authors I scroll through daily appear to ride on this peaceful wave of words that exude calm realizations and conquering of problems, while I feel as if I am hacking through thick infestations of vines with a rusty hatchet, spitting fire of frustration the entire way.
Anger birthed from this frustration churns before I write. Exasperation at the fact that I really don't know how to put thoughts into phrases that make sense causes me to avoid each post I think of writing. I get so irritated while writing that I can't have anyone talk to me. and I question why I keep doing this. My eyes narrow, I chew my fingernails (which I just painted), and... I compare myself.
Dun dun dun.
Frustration is from the fact that I think I need to write more expressively, turn my paragraphs into waves of soothing speeches, write more posts, write less posts, add some swear words to be spunky (when I don't swear), add more pictures, become a photographer! Oh my LORD, the list could go on, and it does in my head!
What's humorous is that I read a piece at least once a week about comparing oneself, yet here I am, creating needless anxiety by comparing myself to people who have been doing this for years (and still fall into the same traps as me for they are not perfect).
This is why I love reading The Militant Baker. She just does her thing which is so diverse from any other blogger I read (many of the women I read all sound the same though are wonderful in different ways).
I don't really have a thing yet, so for now I just bumble along and try different "things" until I find it. For a girl who likes to know exactly who she is in every situation (impossible), this kinda sucks, but it's part of the experience. So, until I figure this out, I'll keep reading awesome people like Jes who inspire me to forget what everyone else is doing and just do what I do, even if it doesn't seem good enough some days.
P.S. I am going to introduce my first series (as I will call it until a savvier word comes to mind) in the next few weeks: a collection of posts on various ways that I have found to influence love for my body and self. I think it's important to share individual methods of connecting with yourself as these topics are not discussed often or loud enough, and you never know what will work for you until you try something out (like jeans!).
Anger birthed from this frustration churns before I write. Exasperation at the fact that I really don't know how to put thoughts into phrases that make sense causes me to avoid each post I think of writing. I get so irritated while writing that I can't have anyone talk to me. and I question why I keep doing this. My eyes narrow, I chew my fingernails (which I just painted), and... I compare myself.
Dun dun dun.
Frustration is from the fact that I think I need to write more expressively, turn my paragraphs into waves of soothing speeches, write more posts, write less posts, add some swear words to be spunky (when I don't swear), add more pictures, become a photographer! Oh my LORD, the list could go on, and it does in my head!
What's humorous is that I read a piece at least once a week about comparing oneself, yet here I am, creating needless anxiety by comparing myself to people who have been doing this for years (and still fall into the same traps as me for they are not perfect).
This is why I love reading The Militant Baker. She just does her thing which is so diverse from any other blogger I read (many of the women I read all sound the same though are wonderful in different ways).
I don't really have a thing yet, so for now I just bumble along and try different "things" until I find it. For a girl who likes to know exactly who she is in every situation (impossible), this kinda sucks, but it's part of the experience. So, until I figure this out, I'll keep reading awesome people like Jes who inspire me to forget what everyone else is doing and just do what I do, even if it doesn't seem good enough some days.
P.S. I am going to introduce my first series (as I will call it until a savvier word comes to mind) in the next few weeks: a collection of posts on various ways that I have found to influence love for my body and self. I think it's important to share individual methods of connecting with yourself as these topics are not discussed often or loud enough, and you never know what will work for you until you try something out (like jeans!).
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